Hi carmen. Thank you very much for enrolling in this course, for your comments and for sharing with the community, in addition to the final exercise, your creative process.
I think the text is very good. It helps us to get to know the narrator through one of her great tastes, music. I admire your ability to build atmospheres, emotions, spaces and the past tense. !! Congratulations!!
Although I think "That's impossible" is a great piece of work, I would like to make some suggestions in case you ever decide to work on a new draft:
I think it would be worthwhile to find a way to tell the reader who the great "Ray Tico" was throughout the text, without including the brief semblance at the end. For example, the narrator might hear that Ray Tico invites them to his bar, and then say that she was very impressed by the importance that Ray himself had in Latin American music. So that the readers accompany the narrator in her surprise, it would be worthwhile for you to tell us what influence Ray himself had had on the narrator's life before the encounter.
On the other hand, although, as you rightly point out, at the end of the text you used a brief ellipsis, I think it would be worth using a larger ellipsis so that the reader knows if that evening had positive consequences in the narrator's life, or if she remained in it only as a memory to which he frequently returned in certain circumstances, and so on. That is to say, it would be worth knowing how that “unexpected day” impacted the narrator.
Congratulations, again, for your text, and thank you very much for sharing it with us. Congratulations!
Dear Cesar:
What a joy to receive your words of support!
Of course I will follow your valuable suggestions regarding my final project. I would love to be able to write many more things about Ray Tico that I left out in my course text, such as the fact that he and I were born in the same port. That in his continental wanderings, Ray learned to play everything he was listening to. He sang in several languages, he had a lot of freedom. He sang naturally and freely for Rómulo Gallegos, Anastacio Somoza or Omar Torrijos as well as for Lyndon B. Johnson or King Leopold of Belgium. He did the same for the actresses of Metro Goldwyn Mayer in Hollywood and for a handful of clients in one of the nine bars he had with Maruja, his wife.
If God wants I will do it; maybe I'll include it in a biographical novel I'm preparing.
César: I would love to have information about your Publisher and the canons or requirements demanded about its publications.
How can I contact you to discuss this matter? What email could I write to?
Well Professor, thank you very much for attending and investing your valuable time in my writings. Bye.
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Professeur PlusHi carmen. Thank you very much for enrolling in this course, for your comments and for sharing with the community, in addition to the final exercise, your creative process.
I think the text is very good. It helps us to get to know the narrator through one of her great tastes, music. I admire your ability to build atmospheres, emotions, spaces and the past tense. !! Congratulations!!
Although I think "That's impossible" is a great piece of work, I would like to make some suggestions in case you ever decide to work on a new draft:
I think it would be worthwhile to find a way to tell the reader who the great "Ray Tico" was throughout the text, without including the brief semblance at the end. For example, the narrator might hear that Ray Tico invites them to his bar, and then say that she was very impressed by the importance that Ray himself had in Latin American music. So that the readers accompany the narrator in her surprise, it would be worthwhile for you to tell us what influence Ray himself had had on the narrator's life before the encounter.
On the other hand, although, as you rightly point out, at the end of the text you used a brief ellipsis, I think it would be worth using a larger ellipsis so that the reader knows if that evening had positive consequences in the narrator's life, or if she remained in it only as a memory to which he frequently returned in certain circumstances, and so on. That is to say, it would be worth knowing how that “unexpected day” impacted the narrator.
Congratulations, again, for your text, and thank you very much for sharing it with us. Congratulations!
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Dear Cesar:
What a joy to receive your words of support!
Of course I will follow your valuable suggestions regarding my final project. I would love to be able to write many more things about Ray Tico that I left out in my course text, such as the fact that he and I were born in the same port. That in his continental wanderings, Ray learned to play everything he was listening to. He sang in several languages, he had a lot of freedom. He sang naturally and freely for Rómulo Gallegos, Anastacio Somoza or Omar Torrijos as well as for Lyndon B. Johnson or King Leopold of Belgium. He did the same for the actresses of Metro Goldwyn Mayer in Hollywood and for a handful of clients in one of the nine bars he had with Maruja, his wife.
If God wants I will do it; maybe I'll include it in a biographical novel I'm preparing.
César: I would love to have information about your Publisher and the canons or requirements demanded about its publications.
How can I contact you to discuss this matter? What email could I write to?
Well Professor, thank you very much for attending and investing your valuable time in my writings. Bye.
Afficher le texte original
Masquer le texte original
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