Hello everyone! @ilanbrenman I loved the course!
I wrote this story based on a habit I had as a child: eating any and all flowers I found along the way. This habit of mine worried my mother. She even changed some plants in our garden as they were considered toxic to children. Time passed and I "improved" this habit. I keep a vegetable garden at home just like my grandparents did, and in my vegetable garden I have edible flowers.
For the illustrations I tried to represent flowers that are edible such as capuchin, sorrel, roses (provided they are managed without pesticides), butterfly beans, different types of hibiscus, ipê flowers, dandelions. I used as a research reference the book "Unconventional Food Plants (PANC) in Brazil" (Kinupp & Lorenzi) and my notes from a course on this topic I took at Viveiro Sabor de Fazenda in São Paulo.
I did the illustrations using the techniques I like the most, such as color pencils and fineliner pen.
Despite having scanned the pages, I was only able to publish the photos of them that I took on my cell phone.
I await your comments so I can improve the story.
@itallo_chianca Thank you Italo! Hope to see your story too! I'm finding it very interesting to follow the process of creating fellow students. Broadens our horizons.
Thanks for sharing your story with us.
I really enjoyed getting to know how your story was born, how it was fished out of your daily life. The idea of a flower-eating girl is enchanting, I think you could explore her plot further, I missed a more explicit conflict, a problem that the girl has to solve using her intelligence and sensitivity. I realized that you know the theme "flowers", I would suggest a research on their origin, their biggest enemies and curiosities about them. This might give more idea for the plot. For example, a girl encounters a carnivorous flower, or the stinkiest flower in the world. How would she react, what would happen?
@ibrenman thanks for feedback and suggestions!
When I started to develop the idea, I thought of some possibilities and ended up opting for a path that wouldn't make children eat any flowers (although it seems tempting to do so). Reflecting on your suggestion, I liked the idea of an "obstacle flower" for a "threat" characteristic (smell, shape, or size). I think it will bring another direction to the story, without forgetting this concern of not encouraging children to eat any flower inadvertently (a mother's concern). I will deepen my research to further develop the plot.
Do you think I can keep this structure as if it were an opening "chapter" of a larger story?
@fran71garcia I loved your narrative! You were creative in the idea, in the dialogues, in short, a nice "conversation" with the child's imagination. Congratulations!
In the question of the conflict that the professor evoked, there are already bees. But she gets rid of them too easily, perhaps. Maybe she might struggle with them, hiding, sticking her head in a bucket, or anything like that.
It would also be interesting for Grandma to explain a little more why it's a gift to have flowers in your head. And how to take care of them...
@adrianakomives thanks for the suggestion Adriana! I'm looking at some possibilities to develop the conflict further. My biggest issue is that I thought the text together with the illustration, so I'm thinking about both the text and the image...
@fran71garcia , Susana, I really like it when these family relationships spill over into the stories. The way the flowers sprout from the thought in the girl's head is really cool. The bee thing reminded me of a situation at school where I work. There we have a composter and the Jataí bees made a hive inside the composter during the vacation period. Back in school, the students were excited about fear of the bees, but they don't have a stinger. It was cool to bring the children closer to Jataís. In your text, it is evident from the illustration that the African girls and the focus of the story is different, but my imagination has already seen the girl coexisting with the stingless ones. Keep updating the people of your project. :)
@rlcrodrigocastro Hi Rodrigo! I came to think of the stingless bees too. We have a colony of Jataí on the wall of my sister's house. But "visually" I realize that people identify bees with this visual identity of African bees. But, we can think of a moment when she finds the stingless bees... there are many possibilities, isn't it? Thanks for the comment and the ideas! Your school must be a very interesting and welcoming environment! Providing children's contact with nature is a proposal in which I also believe!
I really liked your central idea, the flower-eating girl! The originality made me read the story eagerly. And I also appreciated the inclusion of grandma. As the grandma that I am, my granddaughter is one of the main reasons that made me choose this course. Congratulations and thank you for sharing your project. Ivana
@inf95252 thanks for your comment Ivana! Your words are fuel to continue to "create stories". I had wonderful grandparents, so a grandmother could not be missing from my story! Your granddaughter is a child who is very lucky because she has a grandmother who wants to create stories for her! I want to see your story too!
15 comentários
displayname4870110
Hello everyone! @ilanbrenman I loved the course!
I wrote this story based on a habit I had as a child: eating any and all flowers I found along the way. This habit of mine worried my mother. She even changed some plants in our garden as they were considered toxic to children. Time passed and I "improved" this habit. I keep a vegetable garden at home just like my grandparents did, and in my vegetable garden I have edible flowers.
For the illustrations I tried to represent flowers that are edible such as capuchin, sorrel, roses (provided they are managed without pesticides), butterfly beans, different types of hibiscus, ipê flowers, dandelions. I used as a research reference the book "Unconventional Food Plants (PANC) in Brazil" (Kinupp & Lorenzi) and my notes from a course on this topic I took at Viveiro Sabor de Fazenda in São Paulo.
I did the illustrations using the techniques I like the most, such as color pencils and fineliner pen.
Despite having scanned the pages, I was only able to publish the photos of them that I took on my cell phone.
I await your comments so I can improve the story.
displayname5620151
I loved the job, Fran. Very delicate and unique. Congratulations,
displayname4870110
@itallo_chianca Thank you Italo! Hope to see your story too! I'm finding it very interesting to follow the process of creating fellow students. Broadens our horizons.
displayname3599381
Professor PlusHi Susan.
Thanks for sharing your story with us.
I really enjoyed getting to know how your story was born, how it was fished out of your daily life. The idea of a flower-eating girl is enchanting, I think you could explore her plot further, I missed a more explicit conflict, a problem that the girl has to solve using her intelligence and sensitivity. I realized that you know the theme "flowers", I would suggest a research on their origin, their biggest enemies and curiosities about them. This might give more idea for the plot. For example, a girl encounters a carnivorous flower, or the stinkiest flower in the world. How would she react, what would happen?
Well, I hope I helped.
displayname4870110
@ibrenman thanks for feedback and suggestions!
When I started to develop the idea, I thought of some possibilities and ended up opting for a path that wouldn't make children eat any flowers (although it seems tempting to do so). Reflecting on your suggestion, I liked the idea of an "obstacle flower" for a "threat" characteristic (smell, shape, or size). I think it will bring another direction to the story, without forgetting this concern of not encouraging children to eat any flower inadvertently (a mother's concern). I will deepen my research to further develop the plot.
Do you think I can keep this structure as if it were an opening "chapter" of a larger story?
displayname3599381
Professor Plus@fran71garcia I think you don't need an opening chapter, but a paragraph or one more to start your narrative.
displayname4870110
@ibrenman thanks for the guidance!
I will work on it!
displayname7081882
@fran71garcia I loved your narrative! You were creative in the idea, in the dialogues, in short, a nice "conversation" with the child's imagination. Congratulations!
displayname4870110
@josi_maia_silva thank you! I'm curious to see your story too!
displayname5445483
Hi,
In the question of the conflict that the professor evoked, there are already bees. But she gets rid of them too easily, perhaps. Maybe she might struggle with them, hiding, sticking her head in a bucket, or anything like that.
It would also be interesting for Grandma to explain a little more why it's a gift to have flowers in your head. And how to take care of them...
displayname4870110
@adrianakomives thanks for the suggestion Adriana! I'm looking at some possibilities to develop the conflict further. My biggest issue is that I thought the text together with the illustration, so I'm thinking about both the text and the image...
displayname2835612
Plus@fran71garcia , Susana, I really like it when these family relationships spill over into the stories. The way the flowers sprout from the thought in the girl's head is really cool. The bee thing reminded me of a situation at school where I work. There we have a composter and the Jataí bees made a hive inside the composter during the vacation period. Back in school, the students were excited about fear of the bees, but they don't have a stinger. It was cool to bring the children closer to Jataís. In your text, it is evident from the illustration that the African girls and the focus of the story is different, but my imagination has already seen the girl coexisting with the stingless ones. Keep updating the people of your project. :)
displayname4870110
@rlcrodrigocastro Hi Rodrigo! I came to think of the stingless bees too. We have a colony of Jataí on the wall of my sister's house. But "visually" I realize that people identify bees with this visual identity of African bees. But, we can think of a moment when she finds the stingless bees... there are many possibilities, isn't it? Thanks for the comment and the ideas! Your school must be a very interesting and welcoming environment! Providing children's contact with nature is a proposal in which I also believe!
displayname7906711
I really liked your central idea, the flower-eating girl! The originality made me read the story eagerly. And I also appreciated the inclusion of grandma. As the grandma that I am, my granddaughter is one of the main reasons that made me choose this course. Congratulations and thank you for sharing your project. Ivana
displayname4870110
@inf95252 thanks for your comment Ivana! Your words are fuel to continue to "create stories". I had wonderful grandparents, so a grandmother could not be missing from my story! Your granddaughter is a child who is very lucky because she has a grandmother who wants to create stories for her! I want to see your story too!
Faça login ou cadastre-se Gratuitamente para comentar