@lsantiagoignacio59 Hi Santiago, thanks for sharing your final project. Some comments so you can continue to improve:
I think the story doesn't help you. Remember that to begin with it is better to tell stories that already exist, instead of telling your own stories. That is a second step that I recommend you do later, when you master the technique well. If you notice, your story has a structure that is not very interesting: an ugly tree is going to be cut down - the tree asks God to help it - God turns it into a beautiful tree - it is not cut down. It doesn't seem so interesting to me, does it? That makes it possible to lose attention during the story.
-Look at the end: when the story had already finished, you extended it several more seconds, causing the effect to be lost. This is the reason why there are closing formulas ("Colorín colorado", for example): to close with a rhyme and end "up". You can make up a rhyme, or at least be more precise on the last words. And never, ever, say "END".
-I would love to hear you count with your hands behind, still. You are marking the rhythm of your words with your hand and that deconcentrates. You can watch the video again and look only at your hands, and you will see that it makes you lose attention because they are not contributing to the story. You could not move them, and if you do, let it be to illustrate what the tree is like, or where the hunter was coming from, but here they don't contribute much.
I hope these comments help you to continue counting and polishing your technique, thanks for taking the course! A hug!
2 opmerkingen
displayname9346924
Good morning, thank you for the course, I had fun and it taught me a lot, thank you teacher
Origineel weergeven
Origineel verbergen
displayname9920345
Docent Plus@lsantiagoignacio59 Hi Santiago, thanks for sharing your final project. Some comments so you can continue to improve:
I think the story doesn't help you. Remember that to begin with it is better to tell stories that already exist, instead of telling your own stories. That is a second step that I recommend you do later, when you master the technique well. If you notice, your story has a structure that is not very interesting: an ugly tree is going to be cut down - the tree asks God to help it - God turns it into a beautiful tree - it is not cut down. It doesn't seem so interesting to me, does it? That makes it possible to lose attention during the story.
-Look at the end: when the story had already finished, you extended it several more seconds, causing the effect to be lost. This is the reason why there are closing formulas ("Colorín colorado", for example): to close with a rhyme and end "up". You can make up a rhyme, or at least be more precise on the last words. And never, ever, say "END".
-I would love to hear you count with your hands behind, still. You are marking the rhythm of your words with your hand and that deconcentrates. You can watch the video again and look only at your hands, and you will see that it makes you lose attention because they are not contributing to the story. You could not move them, and if you do, let it be to illustrate what the tree is like, or where the hunter was coming from, but here they don't contribute much.
I hope these comments help you to continue counting and polishing your technique, thanks for taking the course! A hug!
Origineel weergeven
Origineel verbergen
Log in of doe gratis mee om te reageren