@manoelccostan Hi Manoel, Thanks for sharing your story with us. Poor Miguel, and poor Marcelo! I hope Marcelo has a bit more rebellion in him that his father. I like the note of sarcasm in your story when you say things like " um espetacular aumento de 2%..."! You tell the story well and just when we think there might be some act of rebellion from Miguel, he keeps going down the same path. My suggestion, if you wanted to keep expanding the story, would be to describe his world in more detail: What does his room look like when he studying at school? What does his work environment look like? My feeling is that you have a clear idea of what his world looks like – the job of the writer is then to make that world "visible" on the page. I hope you'll keep expanding the story, and that the course has been helpful. I wish you a safe and creative 2022. Warm greetings from Madrid!
Hi! Thanks for the comment, professor. I'm glad you enjoyed the story, and I'm sure I'll take your notes into consideration. I also wish you a great new year. Greetings!
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Docent Plus@manoelccostan Hi Manoel, Thanks for sharing your story with us. Poor Miguel, and poor Marcelo! I hope Marcelo has a bit more rebellion in him that his father. I like the note of sarcasm in your story when you say things like " um espetacular aumento de 2%..."! You tell the story well and just when we think there might be some act of rebellion from Miguel, he keeps going down the same path. My suggestion, if you wanted to keep expanding the story, would be to describe his world in more detail: What does his room look like when he studying at school? What does his work environment look like? My feeling is that you have a clear idea of what his world looks like – the job of the writer is then to make that world "visible" on the page. I hope you'll keep expanding the story, and that the course has been helpful. I wish you a safe and creative 2022. Warm greetings from Madrid!
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Hi! Thanks for the comment, professor. I'm glad you enjoyed the story, and I'm sure I'll take your notes into consideration. I also wish you a great new year. Greetings!
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