On the first, I find lots of wisdom in your writing, and I also wondered if changing some of the tenses to be "I" and about your life instead of "you" would make it easier to take in. (A good way to offer advice as a personal story without activating others' defenses)
The 2nd was such an interesting bridge between your sensations and a deeper philosophy on life, exactly the point of the process the way now bridges us us into deeper meaning. It was really fun to be with you on that ride.
The third I felt was such a beautiful ode to a moment. It really took me into the present with you and felt so relatable and warm and human
Thank you very much for your words! 😉
You're right, I have to remember to write with 'I' if I want to connect with the reader.
I'll keep training my way to write. I have a lot of things to learn!!
Thanks again! 🥰
I have rewritten the text of QUERER ES PODER, but now from the point of view of "I". This time I think he has left with a softer tone of voice:
WANT IS POWER
"To want is to be able..." A phrase that I have heard many times but now I don't think it's entirely true. As if absolutely everything is possible in this life. Very far from reality.
If I want I can go for a walk, read a book, have a soup... These are possible things as long as I don't have any kind of physical limitations. Do that yes I can.
And if what I want is to fly? Well, fly, fly, I can catch a plane. What if what I want is for my body to levitate...? That's where things change... The human body is not designed to fly. So even if I want to, no matter how hard I try, I won't be able to fly. Even if I want
So, wanting is power? I don't think always.
I can do whatever I want that depends on my will, my desire, my desire to improve myself, to do beautiful things, to build.
If what I want is for someone else to do what I want them to do, no. I don't think I can or should. I would be manipulating or deceiving another. I would not like to be deceived. I can't go victim later if things don't turn out the way I wanted them to turn out just because the other person hasn't allowed themselves to be manipulated.
If I want I can when they are things that affect my life, not when it affects the lives of others.
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displayname8644733
Profesor PlusWow!
On the first, I find lots of wisdom in your writing, and I also wondered if changing some of the tenses to be "I" and about your life instead of "you" would make it easier to take in. (A good way to offer advice as a personal story without activating others' defenses)
The 2nd was such an interesting bridge between your sensations and a deeper philosophy on life, exactly the point of the process the way now bridges us us into deeper meaning. It was really fun to be with you on that ride.
The third I felt was such a beautiful ode to a moment. It really took me into the present with you and felt so relatable and warm and human
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displayname5780406
Thank you very much for your words! 😉
You're right, I have to remember to write with 'I' if I want to connect with the reader.
I'll keep training my way to write. I have a lot of things to learn!!
Thanks again! 🥰
Ver original
Ocultar original
displayname5780406
Hello again!
I have rewritten the text of QUERER ES PODER, but now from the point of view of "I". This time I think he has left with a softer tone of voice:
WANT IS POWER
"To want is to be able..." A phrase that I have heard many times but now I don't think it's entirely true. As if absolutely everything is possible in this life. Very far from reality.
If I want I can go for a walk, read a book, have a soup... These are possible things as long as I don't have any kind of physical limitations. Do that yes I can.
And if what I want is to fly? Well, fly, fly, I can catch a plane. What if what I want is for my body to levitate...? That's where things change... The human body is not designed to fly. So even if I want to, no matter how hard I try, I won't be able to fly. Even if I want
So, wanting is power? I don't think always.
I can do whatever I want that depends on my will, my desire, my desire to improve myself, to do beautiful things, to build.
If what I want is for someone else to do what I want them to do, no. I don't think I can or should. I would be manipulating or deceiving another. I would not like to be deceived. I can't go victim later if things don't turn out the way I wanted them to turn out just because the other person hasn't allowed themselves to be manipulated.
If I want I can when they are things that affect my life, not when it affects the lives of others.
I see it clearly...
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