Very well. In this world that I have just discovered of the "conceptual" video in which that fine border of mental tirade can be crossed (not to say something else mental as well) I need a minimum script of a word with which to sustain it. In your case it seems very good. From there you can put the images you want because with what I don't like visually I go to the text.
From the visual, what I am writing you is my opinion and to improve: I was not convinced by the color of the first part (those lilac tones) but I really like the greenish one in the bathroom. In that lilac scene (minute 1:00) you are very close to the wall and there is too much white wall. I don't know if you want to convey cloistered but it makes it look poor. We shoot where we can and with what we have but try to get away from the wall. Note that in the small space of the bathroom (when recording through the door for example) it does not give that feeling. And another detail to correct would also tell you the transition of minute 2:40. I don't like that blur ...
Nice job.
@nalviento Thank you very much for your words and advice, I take them all with pleasure. Thank you for taking the trouble to comment and have the detail to see it. A greeting and thanks again.
Thanks @joshuanavarro_tgn for sharing your work, congratulations because the piece works well and what you want to tell is understood, which is sometimes more difficult than it seems.
It would improve above all three things:
- Do not abuse the voice-over too much, I understand that it is a farewell letter to your father but as far as possible I would reduce it, so that the visual part has more force.
- Be careful with the mix of sound, between music and voice-over. At times the volume of the music is so high that it "annoys" and you can't quite understand what the voice is saying.
- Finally, with the color issue, I usually recommend that you have to be more subtle. Bathing the first part in magenta and the second part in green makes the formal and visual part too obvious, and maybe it takes you away from what you want to tell.
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displayname700193
Very well. In this world that I have just discovered of the "conceptual" video in which that fine border of mental tirade can be crossed (not to say something else mental as well) I need a minimum script of a word with which to sustain it. In your case it seems very good. From there you can put the images you want because with what I don't like visually I go to the text.
From the visual, what I am writing you is my opinion and to improve: I was not convinced by the color of the first part (those lilac tones) but I really like the greenish one in the bathroom. In that lilac scene (minute 1:00) you are very close to the wall and there is too much white wall. I don't know if you want to convey cloistered but it makes it look poor. We shoot where we can and with what we have but try to get away from the wall. Note that in the small space of the bathroom (when recording through the door for example) it does not give that feeling. And another detail to correct would also tell you the transition of minute 2:40. I don't like that blur ...
Nice job.
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displayname1430682
@nalviento Thank you very much for your words and advice, I take them all with pleasure. Thank you for taking the trouble to comment and have the detail to see it. A greeting and thanks again.
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displayname321895
Teacher PlusThanks @joshuanavarro_tgn for sharing your work, congratulations because the piece works well and what you want to tell is understood, which is sometimes more difficult than it seems.
It would improve above all three things:
- Do not abuse the voice-over too much, I understand that it is a farewell letter to your father but as far as possible I would reduce it, so that the visual part has more force.
- Be careful with the mix of sound, between music and voice-over. At times the volume of the music is so high that it "annoys" and you can't quite understand what the voice is saying.
- Finally, with the color issue, I usually recommend that you have to be more subtle. Bathing the first part in magenta and the second part in green makes the formal and visual part too obvious, and maybe it takes you away from what you want to tell.
A hug and good job!
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displayname1430682
@jiajieyu Thank you very much for your words, it has been a pleasure learning with you. I'll listen to you. Congratulations on the Goya nomination!
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