@le_inke Hi Inka, This is beautifully written, it's clear and engaging. You create a powerful sense of that time being very much alive, and yet also a clear sense of the narrator looking back on that time. It feels like part of a much bigger project, so I hope you've continued to expand the story. My suggestion would be to weave in some of the themes you mentioned in the forum, like "la obsesión de mi abuela con las temáticas paranormales" and "horror por las matemática..." Keep adding layers to the story.
I like the way you write about the school building itself, as an Escher-like drawing – the place feels like a big part of the story. You could, for example, write more about the classroom itself, the windows, the view from the window, the way the students are organised. You've created a fascinating world here, and, as I said, the writing is crisp and precise. There are many beautiful lines, particularly good is "la vida en esa época era tan antojadiza y hostil como la arquitectura del colegio..." which feels like the essence of the story in a nutshell. Keep exploring!
Thanks for sharing your work with us and for participating in the forums. Warm greetings from Spain to Chile!
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displayname3306830
Teacher Plus@le_inke Hi Inka, This is beautifully written, it's clear and engaging. You create a powerful sense of that time being very much alive, and yet also a clear sense of the narrator looking back on that time. It feels like part of a much bigger project, so I hope you've continued to expand the story. My suggestion would be to weave in some of the themes you mentioned in the forum, like "la obsesión de mi abuela con las temáticas paranormales" and "horror por las matemática..." Keep adding layers to the story.
I like the way you write about the school building itself, as an Escher-like drawing – the place feels like a big part of the story. You could, for example, write more about the classroom itself, the windows, the view from the window, the way the students are organised. You've created a fascinating world here, and, as I said, the writing is crisp and precise. There are many beautiful lines, particularly good is "la vida en esa época era tan antojadiza y hostil como la arquitectura del colegio..." which feels like the essence of the story in a nutshell. Keep exploring!
Thanks for sharing your work with us and for participating in the forums. Warm greetings from Spain to Chile!
displayname7565809
@shaun_levin Thank you very much for your feedback! I really enjoyed the course a lot.
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