Hi! I really liked the way you related your criticism of the bureaucratic system to a fantastic universe of superheroes. A creative idea that would make a great comic! If you are planning on continuing the story, I offer tips to better develop the characters and their motivations, as well as delve a little deeper into the world in which the story is set, adding a political context, for example.
I hope I helped in some way!
Hi! Thank you so much for joining the course and congratulations on completing it. I hope that what we have seen has served you and will continue to serve you.
I just read "Bureaucracy! and I'm going to leave some comments. As I always say in these cases, even if some of the comments aren't positive or don't focus on what interests you most in your own writing, please don't take them the wrong way." Consider that they are made with the intention of helping you to continue improving your work and that in any case they are optional. You decide what you find useful and what is not, how much is recommended for you.
(Disclaimer: I wrote this message in Spanish and then translated it with Google, so there may be some errors.)
What I like most about his story is that his narrator really behaves like the millions of people who deal with bureaucracy: as much as he has a superhero education, he is not able to navigate the procedures and paperwork that are required. of his, he constantly makes mistakes and vents fighting with employees who are just as caught up in the legal "machine" as he is.
On the other hand, when I finished reading it, I wanted to know more about what your character's world is like. I see it's part of a larger project you're creating; Perhaps it would help you, if you are not already doing so, to make a kind of general guide to your fictional world, on which all its essential elements are based. For example, your character studies a professional career to be a superhero; Why do members of your profession dress like the superheroes from our comics and movies, whose costumes are derived from those used in old circuses?
Since superheroes are extremely well-known and influential in our time, and you've certainly been more educated than most on the subject, I recommend looking outside of stories in that genre to help enrich your work. It seems to me that one type of narrative that might be very helpful to you is, of course, stories about the evils of bureaucracy. The most cited example since the 20th century is the work of Franz Kafka, but his text makes me think of authors in which bureaucracy is treated as an evil of life, which does not necessarily have philosophical implications. A great example of this kind of treatment is in Charles Dickens' novel Bleak House ; If you haven't read it yet, the first chapters will fascinate you. I also recommend Too Loud Solitude , by Bohumil Hrabal, and Catch-22 , by Joseph Heller.
Thanks again and I wish you luck and success in your future projects.
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displayname4231860
Hi! I really liked the way you related your criticism of the bureaucratic system to a fantastic universe of superheroes. A creative idea that would make a great comic! If you are planning on continuing the story, I offer tips to better develop the characters and their motivations, as well as delve a little deeper into the world in which the story is set, adding a political context, for example.
I hope I helped in some way!
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displayname1597321
Lehrkraft PlusHi! Thank you so much for joining the course and congratulations on completing it. I hope that what we have seen has served you and will continue to serve you.
I just read "Bureaucracy! and I'm going to leave some comments. As I always say in these cases, even if some of the comments aren't positive or don't focus on what interests you most in your own writing, please don't take them the wrong way." Consider that they are made with the intention of helping you to continue improving your work and that in any case they are optional. You decide what you find useful and what is not, how much is recommended for you.
(Disclaimer: I wrote this message in Spanish and then translated it with Google, so there may be some errors.)
What I like most about his story is that his narrator really behaves like the millions of people who deal with bureaucracy: as much as he has a superhero education, he is not able to navigate the procedures and paperwork that are required. of his, he constantly makes mistakes and vents fighting with employees who are just as caught up in the legal "machine" as he is.
On the other hand, when I finished reading it, I wanted to know more about what your character's world is like. I see it's part of a larger project you're creating; Perhaps it would help you, if you are not already doing so, to make a kind of general guide to your fictional world, on which all its essential elements are based. For example, your character studies a professional career to be a superhero; Why do members of your profession dress like the superheroes from our comics and movies, whose costumes are derived from those used in old circuses?
Since superheroes are extremely well-known and influential in our time, and you've certainly been more educated than most on the subject, I recommend looking outside of stories in that genre to help enrich your work. It seems to me that one type of narrative that might be very helpful to you is, of course, stories about the evils of bureaucracy. The most cited example since the 20th century is the work of Franz Kafka, but his text makes me think of authors in which bureaucracy is treated as an evil of life, which does not necessarily have philosophical implications. A great example of this kind of treatment is in Charles Dickens' novel Bleak House ; If you haven't read it yet, the first chapters will fascinate you. I also recommend Too Loud Solitude , by Bohumil Hrabal, and Catch-22 , by Joseph Heller.
Thanks again and I wish you luck and success in your future projects.
@vtm_vmr
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