I liked the design of the character and in general the color range. Also the narrative is good and clear. The composition is simple, and lets you read the story.
But I have some comments:
-What do you want to tell in each of the images? Taking into account the starting text, I don't know if it is clear to me: the initial characters do not run, which is the theme of the poem. The contrast is well raised, and the way to distinguish between the main one and the others (color, shape, position in the image), but I don't see the relationship with the poem, because there is no hurry / calm in the image.
- I do not see the "taste" of the way, of arriving, that the writer says. It is not necessary that we transfer that, of course. The decision is all yours, but it would be good to know if you have tried to express it in some way and it has not reached me, or if it is simply a subject that you have not been interested in representing.
-I really like that the character always goes to the right, accompanies the reader in reading and gives us the feeling of a walk. But the fact that each time its position within the illustration is more to the left, it seems to me that it does not advance, but that it recedes. Is it intentional? Were you looking to express something? That doesn't seem to fit the poem's starting point either.
-The end has surprised me. Because the poem speaks of the one who knows where he is going, and here we see the character going into the void. I imagine that here you were looking for the contrast with the poem, and as such I think it works great. This strong contradiction between one and the other is something that provokes the reader and helps to rethink the text. Was it your intention?
I have not found the sketch phases. So since I have not seen the previous process, I do not know what the intentions were and if you have managed to represent them. I hope that in any case the comment has helped you in some way.
- In the first image you are right the characters do not run and they do not feel rushed. But I wanted to know if the contrast between the characters worked and from what you tell me I think it did. I'll keep the contrast, but change the physical posture of the characters in my correction. My intention was to represent the rush of the secondary characters and the tranquility of the main character who thinks he knows where he is going.
- In the second image I tried to represent the pleasure of walking through the forest when you think you know the destination where you are going, only the fact of being in nature gives me pleasure, it was my way of representing it.
- The issue of the main character going more and more to the left, it was not intentional, I have not realized it, a big mistake on my part, I will take it into account in my corrections, because my intention was to move forward.
- And finally I get it in the end, if that was my intention, I was looking for the clash with the poem and through the contradiction to make the reader reflect.
I'll make some corrections and post it again.
Thanks and best regards.
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displayname921350
Hello everyone, any opinions?
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displayname125273
Insegnante PlusI liked the design of the character and in general the color range. Also the narrative is good and clear. The composition is simple, and lets you read the story.
But I have some comments:
-What do you want to tell in each of the images? Taking into account the starting text, I don't know if it is clear to me: the initial characters do not run, which is the theme of the poem. The contrast is well raised, and the way to distinguish between the main one and the others (color, shape, position in the image), but I don't see the relationship with the poem, because there is no hurry / calm in the image.
- I do not see the "taste" of the way, of arriving, that the writer says. It is not necessary that we transfer that, of course. The decision is all yours, but it would be good to know if you have tried to express it in some way and it has not reached me, or if it is simply a subject that you have not been interested in representing.
-I really like that the character always goes to the right, accompanies the reader in reading and gives us the feeling of a walk. But the fact that each time its position within the illustration is more to the left, it seems to me that it does not advance, but that it recedes. Is it intentional? Were you looking to express something? That doesn't seem to fit the poem's starting point either.
-The end has surprised me. Because the poem speaks of the one who knows where he is going, and here we see the character going into the void. I imagine that here you were looking for the contrast with the poem, and as such I think it works great. This strong contradiction between one and the other is something that provokes the reader and helps to rethink the text. Was it your intention?
I have not found the sketch phases. So since I have not seen the previous process, I do not know what the intentions were and if you have managed to represent them. I hope that in any case the comment has helped you in some way.
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displayname921350
@agreda Hello, thanks for answering.
- In the first image you are right the characters do not run and they do not feel rushed. But I wanted to know if the contrast between the characters worked and from what you tell me I think it did. I'll keep the contrast, but change the physical posture of the characters in my correction. My intention was to represent the rush of the secondary characters and the tranquility of the main character who thinks he knows where he is going.
- In the second image I tried to represent the pleasure of walking through the forest when you think you know the destination where you are going, only the fact of being in nature gives me pleasure, it was my way of representing it.
- The issue of the main character going more and more to the left, it was not intentional, I have not realized it, a big mistake on my part, I will take it into account in my corrections, because my intention was to move forward.
- And finally I get it in the end, if that was my intention, I was looking for the clash with the poem and through the contradiction to make the reader reflect.
I'll make some corrections and post it again.
Thanks and best regards.
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displayname125273
Insegnante Plus@elenarosa Very good corrections. Sometimes touching a couple of items is enough to help convey ideas better.
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displayname921350
@agreda thank you.
a greeting
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