This project is very impactful visually and has great animation, but I missed a better plot and a plot with more adventures.
Character: Stela is described as a positive person, but she has a serious expression at all times. Perhaps having a scene of Stela interacting with INA shows more sympathy for the character. The character's storyline was not done, so her life is a mystery. We don't know how she grew up, how she survived. How old is she, how and why she is a warrior. Why does she have a sword and a laser gun if there are no more humans with her? Does she want to restart humanity with weapons? Why? It is described that she is committed to saving humanity, but we do not know the real motivation for this, as the universe does not need human beings to exist. I think there's a lot of data missing from the bible. This course teaches how to pass all the data and details of the plot, so that platforms buy the idea without having to watch the animation.
Antagonist: non-existent. Who is Stela's enemy besides global warming and nature itself? Who wants to get in the way of Stela's plans to save humanity?
Chapters: Only in the fifth chapter she uses the time machine, where I think it should be the first chapter, but she doesn't interact with any human, she doesn't make friends, she doesn't make enemies, it just shows us how dangerous nature is that we humans dominate nature, as it did the dinosaur. I missed a real plot, something that was less didactic and held the attention of teenagers. The time machine seems to work very well without any problems, which makes the adventure very simplistic. It lacked the clichés of time travel stories. The character does not evolve and in the end does not save humanity. Creativity was lacking. Perhaps the team needs a more experienced screenwriter to make the chapters better understood and described. I found the Mars theme very current, after all colonization and space exploration is a taboo. But here comes a question, she has brutal time travel technology, but couldn't she herself continue humanity on Mars, bringing good people from the past to live there? It was lacking to explain how Stela survived and all humanity did not, to the point where she managed to live in space, but without colonies with her. The missions she claims to carry out were not well explained.
Conclusion: I thought the concept was very good, with a clear purpose, but the chapters and the story itself were not clear enough. The idea was to be very didactic and not very fun.
Well, that's it. Hope this helps. Good luck with the project.
@contato_471886 Thank you very much for your comment, and if a more experienced scriptwriter is necessary, the course gave me this basis for the project, it is also a video game. I leave you the link where I explain the project a little better.
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displayname9681621
This project is very impactful visually and has great animation, but I missed a better plot and a plot with more adventures.
Character: Stela is described as a positive person, but she has a serious expression at all times. Perhaps having a scene of Stela interacting with INA shows more sympathy for the character. The character's storyline was not done, so her life is a mystery. We don't know how she grew up, how she survived. How old is she, how and why she is a warrior. Why does she have a sword and a laser gun if there are no more humans with her? Does she want to restart humanity with weapons? Why? It is described that she is committed to saving humanity, but we do not know the real motivation for this, as the universe does not need human beings to exist. I think there's a lot of data missing from the bible. This course teaches how to pass all the data and details of the plot, so that platforms buy the idea without having to watch the animation.
Antagonist: non-existent. Who is Stela's enemy besides global warming and nature itself? Who wants to get in the way of Stela's plans to save humanity?
Chapters: Only in the fifth chapter she uses the time machine, where I think it should be the first chapter, but she doesn't interact with any human, she doesn't make friends, she doesn't make enemies, it just shows us how dangerous nature is that we humans dominate nature, as it did the dinosaur. I missed a real plot, something that was less didactic and held the attention of teenagers. The time machine seems to work very well without any problems, which makes the adventure very simplistic. It lacked the clichés of time travel stories. The character does not evolve and in the end does not save humanity. Creativity was lacking. Perhaps the team needs a more experienced screenwriter to make the chapters better understood and described. I found the Mars theme very current, after all colonization and space exploration is a taboo. But here comes a question, she has brutal time travel technology, but couldn't she herself continue humanity on Mars, bringing good people from the past to live there? It was lacking to explain how Stela survived and all humanity did not, to the point where she managed to live in space, but without colonies with her. The missions she claims to carry out were not well explained.
Conclusion: I thought the concept was very good, with a clear purpose, but the chapters and the story itself were not clear enough. The idea was to be very didactic and not very fun.
Well, that's it. Hope this helps. Good luck with the project.
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displayname1128689
@contato_471886 Thank you very much for your comment, and if a more experienced scriptwriter is necessary, the course gave me this basis for the project, it is also a video game. I leave you the link where I explain the project a little better.
https://galacticamente.com/
I take note of your comments :)
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