Hello Arantza. Thank you very much for taking the course and sharing, with me and the community, your final project.
I really enjoyed reading your work. You have an excellent command of narrative rhythm, a great sense of humor and clear, concise and persuasive writing. I think that one of the most important things to narrate is, precisely, the rhythm, and what better than reading it in a story that oscillates between memory and action, between melancholy and discovery. Congratulations. It seems to me, after reading you, that this project is actually the germ of a longer one, where the reader can learn how the love between the mother and the narrator developed.
If at some point you decide to work again with Indivisibles, in a short version like this, I think it would be worthwhile for you to write a couple of scenes where we can see, based on concrete actions, the personality of the mother; Of course, it would be even better if these actions unfolded from anecdotes that had occurred between the mother and the narrator. For example, how was the last time you chatted live? It could also be a memory from childhood or youth, or something the narrator herself had heard her mother do. Another possibility would be the narration of a dialogue, a piece of advice, that has remained forever in Arantza's memory. You can also resort to a letter to drink from the tools of documentary writing.
Again, congratulations on your writing, and thank you!
@cesartejedaa Thank you very much for your comments and criticism! I feel very flattered, because coming from an author/editor with so much experience, well, you can't ask for anything more, right? And of course I would love to continue writing about my mother, who loved her so much and meant so much in my life (she still does). I have letters, millions of photos, and countless shared experiences with her, so it won't be that hard for me to get on with the task.
I will be working on it and I will be very happy to share it in this very interesting forum. Here at Domestika I have found another home to inhabit and feel at ease. Again thank you very much.
Wonderful story!!!!
It moved me to tears and made me relive the last time with my father, with whom I had a very special relationship.
Thanks for the memory!
@patsyvirg you liked it!! If I managed to get at least a few tears from you, it means that I knew how to choose the phrases with which I convey that feeling for my mother. I really appreciate your comment, because it motivates me to continue writing. Greetings.
Hello Arantza. I am with my eyes full of tears!
Your story moved me deeply since my project refers to a request from my mother, moments before she died: "I want to tell the story of my life in photos..."
At that time I was studying Photography, but I don't know anything about writing.
Congratulations!
Sweethearts.
+7 Kommentare
displayname3866464
Lehrkraft PlusHello Arantza. Thank you very much for taking the course and sharing, with me and the community, your final project.
I really enjoyed reading your work. You have an excellent command of narrative rhythm, a great sense of humor and clear, concise and persuasive writing. I think that one of the most important things to narrate is, precisely, the rhythm, and what better than reading it in a story that oscillates between memory and action, between melancholy and discovery. Congratulations. It seems to me, after reading you, that this project is actually the germ of a longer one, where the reader can learn how the love between the mother and the narrator developed.
If at some point you decide to work again with Indivisibles, in a short version like this, I think it would be worthwhile for you to write a couple of scenes where we can see, based on concrete actions, the personality of the mother; Of course, it would be even better if these actions unfolded from anecdotes that had occurred between the mother and the narrator. For example, how was the last time you chatted live? It could also be a memory from childhood or youth, or something the narrator herself had heard her mother do. Another possibility would be the narration of a dialogue, a piece of advice, that has remained forever in Arantza's memory. You can also resort to a letter to drink from the tools of documentary writing.
Again, congratulations on your writing, and thank you!
Original sehen
Original ausblenden
displayname6613575
@cesartejedaa Thank you very much for your comments and criticism! I feel very flattered, because coming from an author/editor with so much experience, well, you can't ask for anything more, right? And of course I would love to continue writing about my mother, who loved her so much and meant so much in my life (she still does). I have letters, millions of photos, and countless shared experiences with her, so it won't be that hard for me to get on with the task.
I will be working on it and I will be very happy to share it in this very interesting forum. Here at Domestika I have found another home to inhabit and feel at ease. Again thank you very much.
Original sehen
Original ausblenden
displayname3841166
Wonderful story!!!!
It moved me to tears and made me relive the last time with my father, with whom I had a very special relationship.
Thanks for the memory!
Original sehen
Original ausblenden
displayname6613575
@patsyvirg you liked it!! If I managed to get at least a few tears from you, it means that I knew how to choose the phrases with which I convey that feeling for my mother. I really appreciate your comment, because it motivates me to continue writing. Greetings.
Original sehen
Original ausblenden
displayname3841166
I'm not an expert, but you really are very good!!!
I hope you have a great future as a writer!!!!
Original sehen
Original ausblenden
displayname6613575
@patsyvirg I would love nothing more than to have that future, so I'll keep writing hard until I achieve it. Thank you very much!! :D
Original sehen
Original ausblenden
displayname1627009
Hello Arantza. I am with my eyes full of tears!
Your story moved me deeply since my project refers to a request from my mother, moments before she died: "I want to tell the story of my life in photos..."
At that time I was studying Photography, but I don't know anything about writing.
Congratulations!
Sweethearts.
Original sehen
Original ausblenden
Melden Sie sich an oder melden Sie sich kostenlos an, um zu kommentieren